Do Not Piss Off An Ant

Yesterday, as I was preparing to move some Earthboxes (fantastic little portable garden beds) next to our house, I paused to rip out some weeds growing up through our driveway. After one huge clump, I noticed a horde of ants erupting from the now cleared crack and I was pointing this out to my wife, when I felt a series of sharp stings. Pulling up my pant leg, I saw a number of the little critters on my legs, and my shoes were also covered with ants.

Running to the back of my house, I disrobed as quickly as possible and raced to the shower. As I scrubbed away the dozens and dozens of ants on my legs, arms and even my naughty bits, I could feel each and every vengeful bite these little scutters exacted on my flesh. Even after I washed them off me and got out to towel off, one last ant clung to my arm and instead of fleeing for his life, he bit down giving his all for revenge against the monstrous being who wrecked his nest.

My wife poured vinegar over the sidewalk crack and we watched in amazement as the ants fled, but with a purpose. Many carried items that were obviously going to be useful in their new nest, while others formed lines to create an orderly evacuation from what was their version of Japan's recent earthquake and tsunami disasters.

Today, when I took my shower and noted the little red marks all over me, I was struck with admiration for these creatures. They suffered a humongous - almost Biblical - catastrophe, yet they reacted with purpose and determination. Some gave their lives to protect the nest and attack the source of their tragedy - moi - while the rest proceeded to leave carrying with them the essentials for their new home. Perhaps some were frozen in horror like many of us in times of dire circumstances, but most of these tiny creatures did what needed to be done.

Indeed, we have more in common with the creatures we have dominion over - and that dominion is as shaky as a host of ant bites - then we have differences. So, as I scratch the remnants of the tiny scars of their righteous vengeance, I say, "Well done brave critters and I am sorry I rained destruction on you. I will be more careful from here on."